Questions for Sarah Bilston,
author of SLEEPLESS NIGHTS:
- In
your first novel, Bed Rest, we
watched your protagonist, Q, experience the perils of a difficult
pregnancy with humor and grace.
In your latest, Sleepless
Nights, she’s surprised to find
herself unprepared for the changes a new baby brings. What did you find the most
unexpected about the first year of parenthood?
I couldn’t believe how intense it was. Before I was a mother
I used to see new moms out and about with babies in strollers, and I thought
motherhood looked pretty easy! You had a lovely baby to hold and you got to
take some time off from work. What’s not to love about that?
Within twenty-four hours of having my first child I realized
just how hard parenting can be. I am an only child, and before becoming a mom I
was used to plenty of me-time. Of course, me-time went straight out of the
window of the delivery room. I nursed, and my daughter was quite small at
birth, so I was on a two-hour feeding schedule – which, as all nursing mothers know,
means one hour for feeding, one hour for changing, then you start the whole
thing all over again. Sleeping, eating, and showering just weren’t part of the
equation.
My oldest child also had colic, which was another big shock.
I’d always assumed that babies cried for fairly obvious reasons, and that their
problems could be quite easily fixed by a loving mother. Not true. Wall-to-wall
crying, on no sleep, was not fun at all.
- On
your website you’re collecting stories from new mothers. Why?
I think the first year is a big shock for most moms. The
images of mothering in the media are usually of gurgling babies and delighted
mothers. But the reality can be very different. The stories from moms on my
website show just this: there are lots of different perspectives, but they all
share a common theme – wow! Who knew it
could be like this! Some of the mothers are struggling with their own
health problems, others with a child’s; some are from moms who try to find
answers in books, others from moms who try every ‘trick’ they hear from their
friends. But all of them show how strange and tricky it is to turn from ‘me’
into ‘mom.’
I’m hoping that publication of Sleepless Nights
will help moms – and the media – have a conversation about the realities of
parenting.
- In what ways is Sleepless Nights a departure
from ‘chick lit?’
I think Sleepless Nights will
appeal to women readers and people interested in parenting especially. But it’s
also got a more serious side. I talk about the wonderful side of mothering, but
also its challenges. Some chapters are comic, but others are reflective and
sober.
- What’s
one thing every new mother should know?
Don’t clean up when your kids are napping! Go to bed
yourself, or at least put your feet up… Time off is so precious when you have
small children; make the most of every second you have. You’ll be able to enjoy
your children so much more if you’ve had a little bit of down-time first.
- What
edits did you need to make to Sleepless Nights
to make it fit into today’s uncertain economic times?
I had to change the tone completely. Last year I published Sleepless
Nights in the UK, and the tone was much breezier; it was written
before the current recession. People talked easily about money in the UK
edition, and no-one was particularly worried about holding down a job. But by
the time I was preparing the manuscript for the US market, this spring, the
world had changed dramatically.
In the US edition I’ve
tried to capture the edginess and worry of modern America. And I also had to
make some serious plot changes. For instance: originally Jeanie, Q’s
twenty-two-year-old sister, enjoys the pleasures of a summer in America after
finishing up a degree in London When I was first writing, a few months off to
‘find yourself’ after graduation seemed perfectly reasonable. But who can
fritter away a summer these days? As an academic myself, I see every day how
anxious new graduates are about entering the workforce. Jeanie’s motivations
needed to be more intimately connected to anxiety than pleasure-seeking. The
novel had to be an enjoyable escape from reality while shadowing that reality accurately
enough to maintain reader sympathy. In the end, I tied the lessons Jeanie
learned specifically to our changing economy. The career she ends up with isn’t
exactly glamorous, or well-paid, but it’s stable and fulfilling. For the time
being, for a recent graduate, that’s enough.
